Sexual Assault

Rape is a violation of the body, mind and soul. Remember, whether you are a survivor or you are a friend of a survivor, the healing process can and will take years. Be patient with yourself or your friend.

How to help a friend dealing with Sexual Assault

  • Listen. Be there. Don't be judgmental.
  • Let her know it wasn't her fault, no matter how she acted or what she wore.
  • Encourage your friend to seriously consider reporting the rape to law enforcement authorities. Blind reports can be made if keeping the victim's name anonymous is necessary. An advocate at FVRC can provide the information your friend will need to make this decision.
  • Be patient. Remember, it will take your friend some time to deal with the crime.
  • Let your friend know that professional help is available through FVRC on the crisis line at 919.542.0224 or at our agency office. Encourage him or her to call the hotline, but realize that only your friend can make the decision to get help.

 

Feelings Frequently Experienced After A Sexual Assault

Fear:
• of being alone and/or in crowds
• of rapist returning
• of places, people, things that remind victim of assault (aka "triggers")
• of others finding out - and what they will think
• of having to report or go to court
• of going to sleep (recurring nightmares)
• of men/women in general (depending on gender of offender)

Guilt:
• for having "caused the rape"
• for not resisting more; for resisting too much
• for being "stupid" enough to get into this situation
• for all the reactions victims experience
• for not being able to nurture others at this time
• for having "engaged in sex" (cultural/religious implications)

Anger:
• for "letting it happen" (directed at self)
• at significant others for not understanding
• at society and the system
• at the assailant - may want to kill, castrate or humiliate him/her

Shame:
• feels dirty, despoiled, humiliated
• feels everyone can tell by looking at him/her

Lack of Trust:
• of own ability to make judgments
• of men/women in general (depending on gender of offender)

Powerlessness and Depression:
• feels loss of control over body and life
• feels helpless to effect change
• feels it will never get better
• feels totally victimized by assault and society