• Approach the person in a sensitive way. For example, "I'm worried about you." A person who is abused in a relationship might deny what is going on to protect both the abuser and themselves.
• Believe what the person tells you. It will have taken a lot for the person to talk to you and confide in you.
• Take the abuse seriously. Abuse can be damaging both physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Abuse can be destructive to someone's self-confidence.
• Focus on their safety. Talk to your friend about being safe and how they can protect themselves. Let your friend know that you are concerned for their safety. Develop a safety plan.
• Help them to recognize the abuse and how it may be affecting them. Recognize and support their strengths and courage.
• Help them to understand that the abuse is not their fault. No one deserves to be abused, no matter what they do.
• Help them explore possible help from the legal system.
• Encourage them to come in to FVRC or call us on our crisis line at 919.545.0224
  

• Don't blame them for the abuse or ask judgmental questions like "what did you do to make them treat you like that?" or "why don't you just break up with them?"
• Don't focus on trying to work out the abuser's reasons for the abuse. Concentrate on the safety of the survivor.
• Try not to be impatient or critical of the person if they are confused about what to do or if they still love the abuser. It is difficult for anyone to break off a relationship, especially if they are being abused.
  

• What can I do to help?
• How has their behavior make you feel? How is it affecting you?
• How have you been coping with the abuse?
• What can you do to make yourself safer?"
• What are you afraid of if you leave?
• What are you afraid of if you stay?
  

Legal Options

Lean more about Criminal Court options vs. Civil Court options

Learn more about a Domestic Violence Protective Order